} more than just puppy love.

right. i think i am more than just bonkers. it is truely LOVESICK . i can t help it, some nights i dream of goatkiss. Is it really fate or just plain coincidence that he live nearby and there is a 30% chance he would come . shit, my heart is beating so fast. i can t even tell myself if i am happy to see him or sad that i didn t get any contacts of him. i think he knows i have something for him but he is not doing anything about it . my mom said after going through Jc , it is hard for him to look at girls my age. She said when i am 18 and he is 21, he would really take a real proper look at the mature true me . But , 18? that is in 3 years time. that amount of time, does it really make me change so much, does it really make me into a woman? hold me okays? i am just afraid i may not have that 'thing' anymore, in three years time.

it is hard being the youngest at home because no one takes you seriously and you will always have this thinking that people will give way to you. that is the problem, that is not mature thinking. another problem is , i never felt this serious in someone before. however , i know that one day i will be rejected by him, honestly. my mom told me to enjoy this feeling while i can, but this feeling, it somehow feels painful? like knowing he is just there! but you just can t , I just can t .

huay yi stayed overnight my house yesterday and she helped glue my lilo and stitch jigsaw puzzles and we played this club penguin game that i coudln t really let go of because i wanted to catch the big fish and in the end i found the secret of it :D omg, this is immature right. ):

later in the night huay yi sleeptalk which gave me such a bad shock! (note that it is 4 am }:[)

huay yi: What colour you want?

jy: -wake up straight away- Huh?

huay yi: WHAT COLOUR YOU WANT?

jy: omg omg , what thing?

huay yi: i am asking you WHAT COLOUR YOU WANT?

jy: i dunno!!

huay yi: forget it , just sleep.

jy: ...

when i woke her up in the morning and asked her what she meant in the night, she said she don t remember. thank god she don t sleep walk in my house. brought her to school to let her play some floorball. everybody thought she was my lil sister and said there was a slight resemblance. i taught her wrist shot and not bad la she :D later accompany her to run . luckily mr wee didn t scold me :] and even asked her if i bully her. hmp. after that everybody played penalty shot and i asked her to play. i think she had fun la . the boys were exceptionally nice :D they pulled the goalpost down when the goalkeeper was not looking and in the end huay yi scored. it was so funny.

met nana and wen later in the passport phototaking shop. she was wearing her Cedar uniform. i don t like it when the blouse is tucked in. look a lil ' toot' , AHAHA, okays. then we had lunch at 147 coffeeshop and go back to my house and played some computer and did some drawings and then it was time for dinner.

we ate at some china resturant which is so good :D i ate alot lor ): fatty. i ordered blackpepper steak rice and i felt so happy because the steak was soft and not tough and when i bite halfway, i realise the steak was not cooked. i lost my appetide. thier carrot cake is nice :D and urm the xiao long pao and the mango pudding :DD god, if i keep feeling happy everytime something nice melts into my mouth , i think i can t fit into my jeans anymore. uncle tai kit took a really ugly photo of me when i was eating xiao long pao, worse of all he is so tyco to catch me sticking out my tongue at him with all my xiao long pau in my cheeks. he won t let me touch his phone now.

and then we went to marine parade and i brought wen and yi to the arcade and the people at the counter tried getting fresh with me . we played basketball and i told huay wen to help me top up because i don t want to see the guy's face and then she scream and ran towards me and i thought somebody touched her but when i saw what she was pointing at,

my heart stopped.

the way home was seriously emotional and uncle taikit kept rubbing it in.

thanks peipei, gloria and yvonne for the presents . i love it :D